WHAT IS NARCISSISM AND WHERE DOES IT COME FROM?
INTRODUCTION: The Person Staring at the Lake, in Love with Themselves
Sometimes we meet someone — confident, attractive, eloquent, admired by everyone. But over time, we realize: this “power” is a mask. This person cannot handle criticism, lacks empathy, and doesn’t value others. That’s when we encounter the concept of narcissism.
In this article, we will explore the psychological foundations of narcissism, its roots in childhood and family dynamics, its manifestations in daily life, and how society helps it thrive.
CHAPTER I: What is Narcissism?
1.1. Power in the word – emptiness in the meaning
The term “narcissism” comes from the ancient Greek myth of Narcissus, a young man who fell in love with his own reflection in the water and ultimately perished in that love. The myth embodies the idea of getting lost within oneself.
1.2. Psychological definition
In psychology, narcissism is defined as unrealistically high self-regard, insensitivity to others’ emotions, and a constant need for praise and attention.
In the DSM-5 (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders), narcissism is listed as Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD).
CHAPTER II: Types of Narcissism
2.1. Overt (grandiose) narcissism
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Exaggerated self-importance
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Craves attention in public spaces
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Cannot tolerate criticism
2.2. Covert (vulnerable) narcissism
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Quiet, passive-aggressive behaviors
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Masks deep feelings of worthlessness behind a façade of strength
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Often accompanied by depressive tendencies
2.3. Toxic narcissism
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Aggressive, manipulative, and controlling behavior
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Elevates self by degrading others
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May pose a risk of emotional abuse
CHAPTER III: How Does Narcissism Develop?
3.1. Unmet emotional needs in childhood
Narcissism can stem from excessive praise or, conversely, a lack of love and attention in early childhood.
Family patterns:
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The child is constantly praised and seen as “special”
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Parents fail to build an emotional bond → the child tries to earn love through performance
3.2. Conditional love
“If you are perfect, we will love you.” — This message embeds itself as a lifelong need for validation.
3.3. Traumatic criticism
Children raised under constant criticism build defenses by hiding their vulnerabilities and projecting:
“I’m strong, you are weak.”
CHAPTER IV: How to Identify a Narcissist?
4.1. 10 common traits:
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Constantly talk about their achievements
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Cannot handle criticism
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Lack empathy
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Compete with others
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Overuse the word “I”
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Display manipulative behaviors
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Obsessed with image and status
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Struggle to acknowledge others’ success
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Idealize people, then devalue them
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Often portray themselves as the “victim”
CHAPTER V: The Deep Weakness Beneath the Surface
5.1. Feeling of worthlessness
This seemingly “strong” person often lives with a deep fear of being unloved and worthless. Saying “I’m irreplaceable” is really a plea for love.
5.2. Inner emptiness
Narcissists rely heavily on external reactions because they are disconnected from their own inner world. They build themselves through others’ eyes — and cannot bear to be alone.
CHAPTER VI: How Society Feeds Narcissism
6.1. Narcissism in the age of social media
Instagram, TikTok, Facebook — these platforms increase the urge to showcase oneself. Every “like” is a drop of love; every “comment” a cry for approval.
6.2. Capitalist systems and individualism
Modern society promotes success, beauty, and popularity. In this race, narcissistic behaviors are often normalized — even glorified as “ideal.”
CHAPTER VII: Can Narcissism Be Overcome?
7.1. It begins with self-awareness
Recognizing narcissistic tendencies is the first step. The person no longer wants to live for praise but to find value from within.
7.2. The role of psychotherapy
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Long-term therapy
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Reconnecting with emotions
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Uncovering childhood gaps
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Developing empathy skills
7.3. Power of healthy relationships
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Learning to build genuine connections
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Experiencing intimacy without masks
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Separating true worth from external validation
CHAPTER VIII: How to Deal with a Narcissist?
8.1. Set boundaries with empathy
Try to understand them, but don’t lose your own limits. Remember — empathy might be foreign to them.
8.2. If they devalue you, step away
No one has the right to crush your sense of worth. A narcissist may try to control you with feelings like:
“You’re not that important.”
CONCLUSION: Strength That Looks Like Weakness – The Evolution of Self-Love
Narcissism is a mask of strength that hides weakness. It comes from a person who desperately wants to be loved but doesn’t know how.
Every narcissist is a child who didn’t finish growing up, striving to look perfect.
It’s easy to judge, harder to understand — yet sometimes, in the mirror, we see a piece of them within ourselves.
Question & Reflection
Have you ever been in a relationship with a narcissistic person?
Have you ever noticed narcissistic behaviors in yourself?
Where do you think the line lies between “self-love” and “self-glorification”?
Share your thoughts in the comments — because every person carries a story.